Ju's Breast Cancer Experience Part 1: Stressful and Unsatisfied Life Before Cancer Diagnosis

By Chris Teo, Ph.D.
In 1995, Ju was thirty-six years old and her son seven years old. One night she felt a lump in her right breast. This was later diagnosed as cancerous. It has been twelve years since her diagnosis and Ju is still doing fine. In May 2007, I conducted an in-depth interview of her case.
Q: You said your family is very important to you. Was there any “pressure” in your family life?
Ju: Not really. All along I was an independent and strong willed person. Whatever I wanted to do, I would do it and then inform my family. My husband respected me as an individual. In fact, I normally would probe my husband to help me make decisions. He is more of a quiet type, which initially I did not know how to appreciate. That was one of the things I have begun to realize. Before I found the lump in my breast, I was very depressed.
Q: Would you like to share your feelings about your relationship with your husband?
Ju: I felt like there was not enough communication between. I didn’t realize that even before I married him, he was a very quiet person. When you expect to change people, it will never happen. Now, I realize I should change myself instead of others. After my cancer diagnosis, I begun to appreciate him because he allowed me to do whatever I wanted, at the same time giving his fullest support all the time.
Q: How long did you suffer this depression?
Ju: Four to five years.
Q: Was it right before your diagnosis or was it much earlier on in your marriage? Your son must be about two years old then?
Ju: Yes, yes. We were married for six years before we had my son.
Q: What was it like during the six years?
Ju: I was working at that time. When you are on “honeymoon”, things were always different. The depression came in after the baby.
Q: Did you become a house-mother after the baby?
Ju: Yes. I was a house mother, a housewife. And I took out my temper on my poor child. I felt very bad.
Q: Were you depressed or frustrated?
Ju: I guess both -- all in one. The early power was gone. Life was no longer the same as before.
Q: Can you describe more? You said something about venting your anger.
Ju: For a two- or three-year old, my son was a very well behaved boy. He was so well behaved that I felt I was the “bad” one. I realized this later on.
Q: Was there any particular period of time that you had “extra stress” during this four year duration? Or was it just a chronic stress?
Ju: My husband was a chef, doing business in Kuala Lumpur. As you know, in business, income was not reliable. So, that worried me too. When I worked, I also contributed financially to my parents. So, when I stopped working, I still have to give to my parents, but there was this limit. So, it was also a financial stress.
Q: Was there any particular incident that had “eaten up your heart”? Any specific emotional burden?
Ju: There was one thing that was nagging me. On the intellectual side, my husband did not meet my expectation. I liked to read books. I liked to discuss things. I liked to analyze. My husband was a very cool type. Even if he was angry, he would just . . . (rolling her eyes upwards to demonstrate). There would be no outburst from him. This got to me. I wanted a reaction, but couldn’t get one. I’d told him: “Can’t you talk to me?” He would reply: “There is nothing to talk about.” I guess that was the main factor. Sometimes you’d wish you could have found somebody different. Then I would tell myself: “Don’t be silly. He has his good points.”
Q: Was this situation, an up down up down situation, or what is constantly there?
Ju: I would say it was constantly there.
Q: Can we say that you are living an unsatisfied life?
Ju: Yes, at that point in time.
Q: Anything else that you want to add? Anything that stands out in your memory during these four to five years?
Ju: No, I don’t think so.
Q: Were you focused as a housemother?
Ju: Yes. But I expected a lot. Even from my child. I expected him to be more extrovert and outspoken like me. My son is also quite a quiet person.
Q: Are you a perfectionist?
Ju: I am a perfectionist. That’s why I hurt myself in the process. When I do something, it has to be done perfectly -- and my way only.
Q: People’s way?
Ju: No. I guess I learnt it the hard way. In the process I hurt myself and I hurt a lot of people.
Q: This was the stressful period before the cancer diagnosis. Before that, was there any stress, during your childhood, in your family, like a trauma or an accident?
Ju: During childhood, I had a fall and my wound could not heal. I had to use a high dosage of penicillin at that time. Even until now, I am not supposed to take any more penicillin. My body will reject it.
Q: In your childhood days, were you bullied?
Ju: My sister would always bully me. I am the youngest daughter. Only one sister (fifth) bullied me most of the time.
Q: Did you feel hurt?
Ju: Oh yes. We always fought. I used to hate her at one time. It was a very strong emotion. I felt very suppressed. But by teenage years, we’ve made up.
Q: What was your relationship with your father?
Ju: All along the relationship with my father was very good. I was and am very close to my parents.
Q: What about your childhood?
Ju: I was from a poor family. In school, I felt a bit left out or overlooked by my teachers. There was this lady teacher in particular that made me feel that way. When I was seven, eight or nine years old, I already started to find out what was good for me. I learnt to fend for myself and that helped me later on in life.
Q: While you were working, was there any stress?
Ju: There were a lot of reports to do, but it was fine.
Q: During the stressful period of four to five years before cancer, do you have any unexplainable symptoms? Like insomnia, anxiety attacks, constipation?
Ju: Constipation, yes. I used to suffer that, especially two to three days before my menses. My husband used to buy me the “liquid thing” for inserting.
Q: Can you describe your menses? Were there clots, or any pain?
Ju: No, not much but a lot of bloating. Sometimes I had headaches.
Q: Did you have stomach problems?
Ju: Yes, I did. If I took the wrong food, I would have diarrhea too.
Q: Were you on any hormone pills?
Ju: No.
Q: Were you on any particular diet? Or was there any particular food that you like very much?
Ju: Oh yes. I love Western food. When I was working, in the hotel, we were doing quite well. We used to go to Western restaurants for all those kind of food. I like baked crabs, oxtail soup, fried char koay teow.
Q: How would you describe your social life? Late nights?
Ju: Late night because of my shift. I finished around 11.00 p.m., and sleep was around 12.00 mid-night.
Q: What about your knowledge on cancer.
Ju: If you get cancer, you die -- that much that I knew at that time. And then, I knew that there would be no cure for cancer. I didn’t have friends who suffer from cancer and I was really ignorant then.
Comments
Leaves do not rattle without breeze. Similarly, there must be a reason or reasons why Ju had cancer at such a young age of thirty-six. None of her siblings or parents has cancer. Ju was a healthy person and in life was not exposed to any known carcinogen. Alas, medical science could not offer any reason for this.
We are told that breast cancer strikes women randomly for no known reason or prior warning. Besides that, has anyone ever asked why cancer strikes on the left breast in some women and the right breast in others? Again, medical science has no answer!
The Chinese holistic healers have long known that cancer could be due to emotional distress and unfulfilled expectation in life. Ju had been living an emotionally unsatisfied life and was depressed for some time. Something was “eating her up” from within. To the Chinese, the Stomach Meridian is one important energy channel that nourishes the breasts. Emotional distress could impede the energy flow through this channel as manifested by her “weak stomach.” Blockage of energy flow could give rise to mass or tumor.
Over many years of experience, I have noticed that a yang or male-related-emotional distress generally results in cancer of the right breast in women. Yin or female-related distress results in cancer of the left breast. One practical lesson to learn from this story -- take life easy and try not to carry too much “emotional baggage”. Let go and be happy.